What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
11.06.2025 06:04
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
(And it was in our own minds.)
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
What are your best funny dating stories?
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
So THAT'S Why Mosquitoes Bite Some People More Than Others - BuzzFeed
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
Ukraine Says It Attacked Crimean Bridge as Traffic Halted - Bloomberg.com
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
Im still living with it.
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
I could never make a relationship work though!
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
I waited trembling.
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
Why is Jack Smith arguing that presidents should not have full immunities as Trump is requesting?
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
And i lived it daily.
If freedom of speech is absolute, how come it's not applied for private spaces and for the Internet?
I was seconnd youngest,
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
Who writes and reads novels nowadays?
Comes on , in middle age.
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
How did you get to be a leftist?
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
Are rich people harder workers than poor people as a whole?
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
I don,t even have a pension.
After delay, man accused of killing Jonathan Joss released from jail - San Antonio Express-News
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
What makes a woman attractive?
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
I will be 64.
Jessica Alba sunbathes in tiny bikini while ‘channeling chill’ on wellness getaway - Page Six
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
I know ,a lot about trauma.
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
She was in good health!
The only rule us 5 kids had .
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
He knew the spot.
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
We all went to grammer schools
He was dying to do it , i knew.
She found it foreign!.
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
I did it because my mum asked me too!
Put me off passion for life!!
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
But it wasn’t much.
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
I had hoped to write a book about this .
I never cut or harmed myself..
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
Ive learnt so much.
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
I write beautiful poetry .
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
I think the readers, may guess!
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
But, we were locked up after school.
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
I couldn’t, believe it.
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
I have no regrets .
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
And who doesn’t know suffering?
Especially a lifetime of it.
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
He resisted the act ,that day.
I was scared of men, in general
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
One cannot live in the past .
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
This is soul school!.
But ive been too sick for many years..
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
My mum and dad in the seventies!
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
Who then, do I blame.?
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
We were not on the streets..
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
Was to survive, this bastard.
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
Im dying but, im not bitter.
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
I was very sick at this time too.
I said to her
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
What did i know ?
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
When she asked me how she looked .
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
My life is so biszare .
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
She loved him until the end.
All the time i was locked up.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
Would this be the day?
She married twice! .
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
They are buried together, in the same grave..
So whats the point in blame.
As i do to all so called friends.?
Where the ultimate outsiders.
Why did i forgive my father ?
I was 9 years of age.
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
She wouldn,t have been !
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
So, i spoilt her more .
It was going to be , some day.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
My family never makes their pension either.